Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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