omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
