omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
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