you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
