How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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