That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
