Three words: puerto rican gang bang
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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