haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
