Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
