Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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