My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
