we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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