apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
and eventually we just all took our pants off
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
