Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
