I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
