your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
