He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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