gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
