i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
