wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I think your dad took our porno
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
