you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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