Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
