New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
