He told me they were just razor bumps!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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