were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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