Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Randomize
