Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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