i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
