Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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