no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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