He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
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