I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Panties = found
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
