a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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