I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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