i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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