living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
