Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
