i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
