Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
