i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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