How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
