it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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