omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I look better un-naked...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
