i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I hate all girls vehemently.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
