Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
