you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
