i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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