so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
