we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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