She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
BRING THE BAGELS
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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